Update

So, I know I haven't written in a while.....so we almost had 2 good weeks.  We had 1 minor set back last week, but he made the right choices, so i was very proud of him.  Had a meeting today, we meet 1x a month with the dr.  We were commenting that he has been doing pretty good, making better choices.   I mentioned that I didn't want to say anything because that usually jinxs it and BAM!!!!!  he has a horrible day.  Now he is out for 2 days.....now he has to shovel goat poo!!  I know that may not be the best punishment for him, but we feel that right now it works for us.  A few baby steps forward and a couple steps back.  Part of the process.  Please keep the positive prayers coming our way!!

another day

The last few days have been pretty good.  I hate to say anything, because that is usually a sure fire jinx.  I have been trying different tactics, talking about different ways to handle stressors, different ideas.  We will see if they work.  Thank you to all my supportive friends.  I know that there are families that are worse off than ours, but I don't want to sound mean, but I have to worry about my family!!

another day

Well, today I broke down, I think it has been a long time coming.  I had to leave morning program because I couldn't keep myself together, which isn't fair for the girls.  I ended up talking with a mom that has gone through a similar situation.  Some of what she said sounds familiar, but also, some of what she said gave me hope!!  I am trying to be strong and compassionate, but also, I am forced to be the heavy.  All those roles mixed together, can be very over whelming.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I am looking for the strength to get through the day.

Stressed

For those of you who know me, I am an extremely emotional person.  Having said that, I have a child that has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar mood disorder and ADHD-impulsivity.  This makes life very stressful in our household.  There are times, as bad as this sounds, that I wished my child had cancer or another disease.  I could accept that and deal with the treatment and have the hope that my child will be "cured."  If you have never experienced a child with a mental issue, consider yourself lucky.  Our life is a constant rollercoaster...you never know what or when something will happen.  I am hoping that blogging will help me through this process.  Please do not judge me based on what I have written, until you have walked a week in my shoes, you wouldn't understand!